The Elemental Journey: From Breakdown to Becoming

This van life chapter has taken me deeper into my body, my trust, and my connection with Earth than I ever expected. It really began in Chattanooga, where the van broke down again — worse than before. And this time, the fear didn’t just hit my mind… it hit my body.

I could feel it pulsing, shaking—old survival programming, fear of not being supported, mistrust in the masculine, and even in my own vehicle, Bahula. I cried. I prayed. I asked Bahula for forgiveness. Somewhere in that moment, I realized: I hadn’t just lost trust in her, I had lost trust in being held.

But something was different this time.

Even through the tears and tremors, I stayed with it. I moved the energy. I breathed into the fear. And with the support of kind souls in Chattanooga who showed up like Earth angels, I chose to keep going.

Then came the Smokies — elevation, steep winding roads, one-way paths that demanded surrender. That’s where the salamander showed up, whispering a truth I couldn’t yet understand:“You are walking into a sacred fire, but your waters will cool and hold you.”

Newfound Gap, The Great Smoky Mountains

Each night there, my sleep was conscious and thick with old energies—overwhelm, grief, resistance. But every morning, I woke up calm, as if something deep had shifted in my cells. My body was doing the work. The sacred fire was burning away the fear I thought I had already healed. I took a long hike into the unknown trail with the intention to burn the fear out of my body and connect with the waterfall that was at the end. As I laid on a rock surrendering to the hike my body went through. I allowed the waterfall and rain to cleanse and soothe my fire. Finding immense amount of qaurtz to amplify the frequencies that are walking upon it.

Then a few days later in Asheville, just as I parked for the night, a beaver crossed my path. The very next day, I met Anthony and Bruce—two grounded, heart-led businessmen who felt like masculine anchors in human form. Suddenly, the vision I’ve held in my soul didn’t feel so far away. I was being given structure. I was being shown how to build.

Looking back, I see it so clearly now…

• Earth (Chattanooga) held me through the breakdown and reminded me to trust again.

• Fire/Water (Smokies) burned away what I was still gripping tightly to.

• Air (Asheville) showed me the harmony of divine support, emotion, and aligned creation within the merge of masculine and feminine.

• And now, present to it Air it is slowly arriving—clarity, connection, breath. A new cycle is beginning.

This journey is more than van life. It’s initiation.The Earth is always speaking. The animals, the people, the breakdowns, the roads — it’s all medicine. It’s all alive.

If you’re going through your own fire, I see you. Trust your path. Trust your body. And when you forget, come back to the whisper:

“You are held. You are held. You are held.”

With Love,

Sacora